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Self-Doubting

And while I still have this whole just-say-it vibe today, let’s just post this. Ha!

How often do you have self-doubt? Sometimes? Rarely? Or forever?

I generally come across some of you as excessively confident and annoyingly positive (or just plain annoying) individual that it might be impossible to imagine me self-doubting myself, but I self-doubt myself too. A lot. #hypocrite. And today it upset me so much I almost cry at work.

It is at times like this that I feel like that jigsaw puzzle piece that looks like it has the correct shape and pattern to fit a spot, but is somehow the wrong one because it just doesn’t click right. I rack my brain for which friend to turn to; who would understand, who would not judge, who would even have time in the middle of workday in the middle of the week for emotional vents.

And then I stopped.

Self-doubting, I mean. I stopped self-doubting.

Because it dawned on me, that whatever happens next is out of my control. If things are bound to happen, it will happen. Whether or not I made the call, it will happen if it’s meant to happen. I made my doa, and that’s it. I choose to believe that whatever happens next is what’s best to happen.

Sometimes, I guess, we just have to learn to let go of the worries of screwing up.

So I ate ate that chicken puff and the chocolate cake.

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